It is expected that when a man passes on, his family will take care of the widow and provide a better livelihood for her. Sadly, to say, this has not been the case in some cultures.
The traditions impose dehumanizing rites on these widows that are uncalled for. Their dignity is continuously violated and degraded. Some families either neglect the widows or maltreat them.
Most of these women have to struggle by themselves to raise their children single-handedly.
They are left with sorrows, and never stop mourning their late husbands for the rest of their lives, because they have no one to care for them. It is sad to see that little is done to give joy to these women after the demise of their husbands.
Some of these women are made to sleep outside their rooms in the open air for a month.
They bath in streams and use clay as pomade. Worse of it all, some are made to drink the water used to bath the corpses of their husbands. The property that they and their husbands acquired is taken away, including cooking utensils.
Many women are victims of this kind of maltreatment in various forms. They do not talk about it because of the fear of cultural stigma and lack of advocates. They would rather keep quiet to endure whatever treatment is being meted out to them.
Strangely enough, the causes of these dehumanizing treatments are mostly suspicions and false accusations.
Some of the widows are suspected of being the cause of the deaths of their husbands. To justify their inhumane behaviors, others explain that it is their tradition.
However, these maltreatments not only inflict physical pain on the widows but also psychological and emotional pain. This goes a long way to negatively impact the lives of the children they are raising, and sometimes makes them grow with bitterness in their hearts for their society.
These treatments pose a health challenge to some of these widows, making them face untimely death, leaving their children wandering around, contributing to an increase in the crime rate in society.
I refuse to believe that these practices are going on because people do not know about them, or they do not see them being practiced. No, it is simply an attitude of apathy and indifference to the sufferings of others. And this indifference and silence are our individual, community and national contribution to cruelty and inhumanity. By our silence, we affirm the traditions.
I strongly believe that with the level of formal education as a nation, some of our cultural practices, such as the so-called widowhood rites, should be expunged from our culture.
Education should improve the dignity of the human person, including widows. Our professors in Sociology and Anthropology need to do more research into these cultures to bring the evil in the cultures to light.
The 1992 Constitution and the Matrimonial Causes Act of 1971 (Act 367) and the Intestate Succession Law of 1985 (PNDCL 111) are existing laws meant to protect the rights of Widows. These should be implemented and enforced.
Regrettably, if the enforcers are the perpetrators, then the law is a dead letter.
I am aware that some institutions and organizations contribute to the poor during festive seasons. These donations go a long way to help the widows during those occasions, but what the widows need more is their liberation from the bondage of torture and humiliation. Therefore, a lot more needs to be done.
The Church is the strongest and loudest voice for widows. In addition to what the Church is doing, I strongly recommend that a proper Widowhood Rite be formulated by the Conference of Bishops, or at least, at the Provincial level, to be used by Dioceses and Archdioceses. This will help restore the dignity of widows in the Church and society at large.
The State, in collaboration with Religious Bodies, can easily put a stop to these negative cultural practices. I have high expectations for both in this regard.
In conclusion, I remind every individual, community, and the nation at large that widows are crying: crying for the restoration of their dignity as women; crying to move back to the houses they occupied when their husbands were alive; crying for help to raise their children into responsible citizens. And none of us can be deaf to their cry.
By Sr. Esther Kutie, SVI (Sister Communicator)
